I don’t know what’s the notion of crush to this young generation, but for me, she is the only one that comes to my mind.
Every time that I see her pictures, I can’t help myself but pause and ponder “How can someone be so beautiful !”
That picture of her in black dress on Instagram, It took me into a world of thoughts and the only outcome that my heart gave for that moment “She can never be yours again. Don’t fall for her, for life and love does not give a second chance. She’s your ex.”
Every time I stalk her profile, I resist speaking or writing any word. I never message her. And we hardly talk now. Looking at her pictures, adoring her, praying good for her, wishing smiles for her, and scrolling down not to scroll up again. I have learnt to let it go. It feels bad, definitely, does, but then some things are best left unsaid.
I have to realise that maybe it had nothing to do with me. Maybe we weren’t the forever types. Maybe somewhere something went wrong, or maybe I cared too much. Maybe I couldn’t change the climax where we went wrong. But I lived through all the maybes’, and I’ve realised that there is no pain worse than loving someone more than they love you. It’s like you’re falling in free-fall, expecting that your love will catch you, and she’s still holding onto her parachute. And, My God, when you hit the ground it does break every bone in your body.”